Surrender at Starbucks in Spain

By, Tatiana Fregosi in A_Mardock in Portugal with TatSpain, Fall 2012
I’m exploding with joy right now… its ridiculous. I CANNOT stop fidgeting and grinning about how COOL God is. I don’t really know what else to even say… He’s just so beautiful. I want to pop! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to all of you who reached out to me after the last update I sent– your prayers and encouragement were SO appreciated and I was literally swallowed up by how loved I felt. Seriously… praise God. Its only by His love that I’m singing such a different tune in this catch-up than the previous. In short, these last handful of days have been awesome. After surrendering my desire to work my way to salvation, He’s just showed up all over the place and done what I never could on my own. Countless instances of His goodness.
So again, THANK YOU for your beautiful prayers– they’re power packed and Jesus loves answering them 🙂
I was sitting and talking to Him at Starbucks (sup, American) the other day about why I came to Spain, thinking to myself, “sometimes I don’t know if it was a good idea coming here…all the mind wrestling and rough spots and lies I’ve picked up along the way. I’m 2 weeks from leaving, and I still don’t exactly know what I’m doing here. Was this lost time that could have been better used back at UCLA or something? What am I really supposed to do here?” And He told me the coolest thing in response: “Love me.”
Since I got here, I’d been laboring through my days, searching searching for a definite this is why I came to Seville or this is what I’m supposed to be doing here sort of moment…or friendship…or connection of some sort. Don’t get me wrong, there have definitely been glimmers of those all over the place along the way, but I just realized that all along the answer to my question has ALWAYS been “to fall deeper in love with Jesus.” No more, no less. He responded, “to love me while you go to school and while you travel. Love me in all the things that bring you joy. Love me through the lonliness. Love me in the time-consuming tasks of learning a new place. Love me through the people I put you with and the places I let you go. Just… love me. Don’t worry about anything else. I don’t want anything else from you.” Wow wow wow… talk about freedom.
He KNOWS what’s before us– we don’t have to invent spiritual activities for ourselves. All he asks if for our love and obedience as He sets all our days up for us. Crazy! And so what I needed to learn.
So… that’s a bit of an update/ praise about my life and how cool God is. I am praying for all of you– that God would continue to remove the agenda from our faith and replace it with freedom and love that know no bounds. Continue to pray for me here! On a more specific note: my friend Cathy and I have an awesome opportunity to further get to know some Spanish students that Cathy met while doing outreach last week. She and I are going to spend some time with them tomorrow, so pray for us and for them and that it would not be we who live but Christ who lives in us. Also, please pray for the homeless here– there is SO MUCH NEED here right now and God’s recently been bringing some new homeless friends into my life here, so pray that He would use that. And also that He would give me the boldness and words to share my faith with my host mother.
I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!
– Tati
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. [Galations 2:20]
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